Having a computer would make writing easier like taking German in high school would make learning Norwegian easier. Both are EXCUSES. Because if I really wanted to write, I just WOULD and if I really wanted to learn Norwegian, I would work harder. But I legitimately sat on the bus tonight and thought “man I wish I had taken German in high school so I would have a strong Germanic language base” (even though I am #grateful for my knowledge of Latin-based languages). WHAT A PRODUCT of things coming naturally to me! I would be lying if I said I never had to work hard at anything (senior English kilt me but also built me and math and sciences can get fucked) but with most things, if I wasn’t GOOD at it, I was at least passable. And passable was good enough so I never worked harder. (I feel like I can only count volleyball, soccer, and senior year english as the things I actively worked my ass off to do well in). So here’s me, struggling with Norwegian, wishing it came easier/that I was better WHEN ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WORK HARDER!!!!!!!! YIKES @ ME!
I deleted my social media shit again because SHE HAS FRAGILE MENTAL HEALTH but really: I’m just not wasting time, energy, and emotions on things that don’t serve me anymore.
Some cool news: I’m consistently running and doing yoga. There’s a fake-grass soccer field a 10 minute walk from my house and it’s SO soft and spongy it doesn’t fuck up me knees at all and IM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. I’ve always really liked running but I have horrifying knees but NOW I CAN RUN AS MUCH AS I WANT!!! Jk my knees are still fucked so I’m starting with every other day + listening to my body. And yoga has been fun because I’ve always been hyper-flexible and not very strong but being mindful of my body is helping strengthen and stretch instead of just flopping around like a noodle.
Additionally, I have a really gr9 idea for an article/essay and an idea of where to submit it SO I’M GOING TO WORK ON IT THIS WEEKEND!
AND! Also this weekend! I’m finally hanging out with two people I’ve been trying to make plans with for the last month. AND! One of my friends from Norwegian class informed me that THEY SHOW ANIMATED MOVIES IN THE ORIGINAL LANGUAGE AND NORWEGIAN DEPENDING ON THE SHOW TIMES!!!! So!!!! I’m also going to Into the Spiderverse this weekend tooooo!!!!
So even though I just said like two days ago that this year was off to a slow, rough start- this year is off to a great start!!!
A few more things: I am an absolute witch. I can make people fall in love with me instantly. (< just kidding but I was thinking of the guy that named his new puppy after me after we hung out ONCE and how I posted my Year in Review on Instagram and some guy I talked to on bumble ONCE was all of a sudden like WILL U WAIT 4 ME 2 MOVE 2 NORWAY?!? And while I’ve yet to make someone fall in lasting love with me, it’s fun to feel like I have a special power.) God honestly the last few days I’ve felt like such a true goddess like powerful and beautiful and angry and a lil dangerous and creative and quick-thinking and it’s probably just the physical activity releasing those good good endorphins but WHAT A FEELING!
I’m so fucking ready to kick everyone’s ass and also to love everyone and also to love myself. The true 2019 feeling.
…
wow honestly HONESTLY watch me crawl fully into my life and read poetry and run in the rain and sit on the rocks by the sea with my hand outstretched CALLING FOR WHALES because THERE IS MAGIC, THERE IS LOVE, THERE IS LIFE and THATS ALL THERE IS!
